how embarrasing.

here in am in the byu library at 10:30 in the evening, reading old diaryland entries, and i actually start crying. oh geez. but it wasnt bad cuz it was just the low key watery eyes drippy nose type of crying.

i cant help getting all emo reading about the past year. its been great [and hard] so fun [and sad] so many things:

-the william situation
-all my mesa vista experiences
-falling in love with the kari
-starting the farewell bikeride
-saying goodbye to kirk [and missing him so much]
-eating chocolate cream filled caramels
-the poop deck!
-trick or treating with kris [the dutch school girl] and myself [the big bunny]
-cracked bleeding knuckles all winter long!
-the early days of sunday potlucks
-my smelly feet
-being really sick [and kari taking care of me]
-making beautiful paper
-the time i quit eating candy for a whole month
-chapped lips
-the olympic scandal tour 99...
-hoola dog!
-august arts
. . .

goodness i could go on and on. this past year has been so great. i love everyone here so much and im getting so sad right now when i think about my life here and how it will be over in two more short weeks. and goodbyes will be said and then this will all just be a memory, and i will just be a memory to everyone. geez, i sound like i'm writing my last entry. goodness sakes. i feel so alone right now and i cant think of anything i cant think of anything to do. i guess its just life ya know? i guess it just is. i love it but its hard and right now it feels hard and lonely and i need to get off diaryland cuz i'm making myself way too emo.